Potty Training: The NEVER ENDING Story

What I keep wondering is...why did nobody tell me that potty training would be the WORST THING I WOULD EVER DO!!!!???? I feel like people mention it in passing, 'oh yeah, so and so is potty training' or 'be prepared to clean up some accidents', but nobody prepared me for the mental, emotional, and physical battle of potty training that goes on and on and ON! I tried the 3 day method, which basically tells you to throw out all of their diapers, put them in undies and pump them full of juice for three days straight and hope for the best:) It was a little mored detailed than that, but you get the gist. Day one was SO traumatizing I don't even think I can write about it. Just picture me, full blown pregnant, picking Liam up and running a dead sprint for the toilet while he drains his pee all over my leg (that is if it wasn't already emptied onto the floor), scrambling to get his underwear down and throw him on the toilet in time to hopefully get even a few drops into the bowl, (which is nigh unto impossible). He went through 22 pairs of underwear that first day. Yes, that means 22 sprints to the bathroom. The saddest part was to see Liam's disappointment. Look how excited he was to put on that very first pair of underwear! I LOVE this photo...ready to take on the world.

After peeing on the floor a couple of times he was becoming so sad and disappointed, saying things like, 'I'm so sorry I peed on the floor mom.' He wasn't really playing, or acting himself. I felt SOOO bad. He just wanted to do well and earn his prizes, but you aren't supposed to reward them unless they are able to 'finish on the potty' which means getting at least a few drops in. Finally it was so sad I couldn't bear it so I lied to him and told him that he got one little drop in the toilet, and we got really excited and I gave him his precious gummy bear. He perked up a lot after that and was able to get legitimate pee in the potty a few more times throughout the day...and even a number two...which is pretty major, so he got a Kinder Egg.  Here he is relishing in his success.

He definitely loved the juice part. I had a few different kinds and we mixed drinks in every combination, and I just had to laugh/cry as I watched him guzzle that juice down...just knowing what it meant for me a short time later. It was the longest day of my life. Part of the deal is that you cannot leave their side or really even look away from them all day long. The program says that even talking on the phone, checking email etc. is too much distraction. They need your UNDIVIDED attention every single minute. This is especially difficult because I was trying to find things we could play with in or near the bathroom so that we had a fighting chance of making it to the toilet.

 It was SO exhausting. All day I just kept thinking, 'if I can just make it to bath time, everything will be okay'. I figured I could just put him in the bath for an hour and let him pee and play to his heart's content while I flopped on the floor and rested my weary soul. Bath time finally came and just as he was getting settled in, I saw what looked like tiny flecks of poop in the water...but they were so tiny I wasn't sure. To be safe I pulled him out and set him on the toilet while I drained the tub, sanitized it and the toys etc. He didn't do anything on the toilet so I figured I had been wrong. I refilled the tub, put him back in, then got a pillow and crashed in the hallway. My pregnant body was NOT okay with any of this. Just as I started to get comfortable I hear Liam say, 'Mommy, I pooped.' Are you kidding me!!?? In his entire life, he has only pooped in the tub one other time. How is it possible that this day of all days he does it again. This is when I decided to give up on being a mom for good. By the time Dan got home I was literally the shell of a human being. 

Day two was much better, only 11 pairs of underwear. He was figuring out his signals and how to hold it. Now the problem was getting him not to hold it too long. Day 3 he only went through a few pairs of underwear. He was finally getting it. 

Here he is on the third day...looking confident yet again. And this photo is proof of our confidence in him because he was actually allowed on the couch for a few minutes:) So in a sense, the 3 day potty training sort of worked, but we are still far from finished. He started exactly 2 months ago and still has accidents. At this point, he TOTALLY gets it, and can even go on his own. Now it is more of a psychological battle. I think it's a combination of not wanting to be bothered with the toilet so he holds it for way too long and being bored with the current stock of prizes. Yes, we still have to give prizes. They seem to be his only form of motivation. Last week he was awful, peeing all over the place and hardly caring. Then, after buying a bag of starbursts for prizes he suddenly became a potty professional. Then after several days, just when you think he has finally decided to stop the mind games, he randomly starts peeing his pants. I think he's getting there, though. I have been making him clean up his own messes, and that seems to help. I just had no idea it would be this challenging. So to all reading this post, you have officially been warned...potty training is pretty much the hardest thing you will encounter in this life:)